Counselling is a highly effective method of gaining insight and solutions to emotional and social issues as well as finding direction during times of loss and change. We all experience challenges in our lives from time to time and we may often deal with these ourselves or by talking to friends and family. There are other times that we could do with some extra support. Counsellors are trained professionals that provide understanding, reflection and assistance in dealing with life’s difficulties. You are not alone and the counsellors at Restful Waters are here to help. Our style of counselling is based on an ongoing inquiry approach. We apply the methodology of questioning as a way of discovering the patterns of behaviour and conditioning that lay beneath the surface. Our counsellors support you to bring an understanding, acceptance and deeper awareness to managing life issues and transitions.
Relationship & Couples Counselling
You and your partner can have a more beautiful life together when commitment, communication and cherishing are established between the two of you. Sometimes we need assistance to navigate and express ourselves in ways that support these elements. We all experience difficulty in relationship from time to time and can crave intimacy, connection and understanding. Whether you are married, newly committed, dating, friends or somewhere in between, intimate relationships are a huge part of our daily lives and it takes time and energy to keep them healthy and strong. Relationships can be difficult as we all have different ideas and beliefs as to what a partnership should look like and we all experience and give love in different ways. In attending couples counselling you are offering a courageous commitment to making a relationship work.
Family conflict can be devastating. We can assist you to form a more cohesive family unit through facilitating communication and allowing each person the opportunity to have a good look at how things are actually working in order to resolve any issues. Families may come to counselling to look at their communication, behavioural issues in youth and adolescents, personal conflicts within the family, separation, divorce or blended family adjustments, substance abuse, and career transitions.
Family counselling provides the opportunity for all members to come together in a safe and warm environment to express issues, feelings and support for each other. Some of the benefits of family counselling include; improved communication, generating a deeper understanding and acceptance of each other, and developing your own family agreements and strategies to re-establish connection. It takes a whole family to work together to create a happy home and life.
We are here to help. At Restful Waters we have counsellors who have trained in working with young people on issues such as self-esteem, anxiety, depression, academic pressure, family conflict, bullying and eating disorders. We value the lives of our youth and are committed to providing a friendly, non-threatening and safe space to help them explore their concerns freely and openly. All our counsellors are qualified professionals and have current working with children checks. Counselling for young people can be vital in laying a foundation of support during the developmental stages. Youth can be a time of life that sets the tone for many years to come. Our focus is on helping to foster communication while addressing issues with awareness and understanding, helping youth to live healthy and happy lives.
Group counselling is a powerful forum to assist people with difficulties that they are facing and to provide a supportive space for people to express themselves. A counsellor will facilitate the session and often each person has something to contribute if they wish. Group counselling is an ideal place to discuss what is going on in your life with the combined insight, clarity and empathy of many people who have a variety of life experiences. It can be helpful to share the journey with people that are facing similar issues as they can have a better understanding of how you feel.
Things can feel so personal and it is hard to see when we can only see our own perspective or story. It can feel like you have a bunch of friends cheering you on to achieve what you would like and this supplies motivation and determination that you can accept and move to change if need be.
COMMON ISSUES AND CHALLENGES
Relationships can be difficult as no one person is the same. People see couples counselling for many reasons including a lack of intimacy, constant arguing or fighting, a desire to build a stronger partnership, insecurities about finances, marriage or children, dealing with infidelity or the suspicions of it, sexual issues in the relationship, feeling misunderstood or wanting more attention. These are all common issues that can arise for couples. We all have different ideas and beliefs as to what a relationship should look like and we all experience and give love in different ways. With our couples counselling a safe space to express is created and both parties can voice what is happening for them and be heard. Issues that seem confusing or complicated can be clarified and then we can work towards collaboration in creating a happier relationship. A safe space is provided at Restful Waters where each person can be seen and heard. Our focus is on helping to foster commitment and communication while addressing issues with awareness and understanding.
Many people have developed low self-worth as a result of not receiving the degree of care and support needed to assist them through the developmental stages of life.
Counselling can help us to gain self-awareness and learn how to be our own best friend. By moving to a deeper level of acceptance we can find a greater peace and contentment inside. Our lives become happier.
The extent of the grief we create as a result of not accepting ourselves is great. Feeling unworthy, believing self-judgements and the tendency to carry guilt about how we are can twist us into an uncomfortable mess. The experience of going through life being our own worst enemy is a painful one. We can become socially awkward, under value ourselves in the work place, sell out to get along in our relationships and possibly create failures in our day to day living to validate our low opinions of ourselves. The cycle of maintaining low self-worth continues with these kinds of experiences.
Counselling can assist us to learn how to make friends with ourselves. As we do, we discover it is the rejected parts that need to be held in acceptance for low self-worth to be healed. Bringing about a sense of wholeness, self love and self-respect in the psyche and body.
Depression can be caused by a few different things; if it is caused by circumstances of life, these can be examined in counselling and dealt with in a healthy way, resulting in a lifting of depression.
Long term stresses are a frequent factor in the onset of depression such as;
- abusive or loveless relationships,
- ongoing financial difficulties,
- longterm workplace stress.
Also more recent stresses can bring on depression if many things go wrong in a short time or something reoccurs that brought on depression in the past. Other common life situations where depression may occur are when experiencing a serious illness or excessive alcohol use.
Areas of depression are caused by chemical imbalance in the brain and medication from a doctor may be required. There are many different categories of depression and everybody’s situations and ways or dealing with them are, in their own ways, unique. The recognition of ourselves as depressed and making steps to begin to work through its conditions are very valuable. Despite our unique situation, there is a common human experience and when we recognise this, you are not alone. We can help you begin to work productively with your experience and find a healthy way to be with life.
Stress is a natural interaction between our mind, body, and environment. The stress response prepares us to take action by activating our nervous system and improving mental focus, but is not needed as a basis to function in our everyday lives. If we are under too much stress, we suffer as our body and mind become overly on alert.
By learning to deal with stress in a healthy way you can have a better quality of life right now. Stress is a reaction to pressure, demands or changes in your surroundings and doesn’t have to rule your life.
Counselling can assist you to break the patterns causing stress and support you in finding new ways to process life’s challenges with calmness and clarity. When we experience too much stress we overtax the natural resources of our body both physically and mentally.
High levels of stress have been associated with many physical and psychological difficulties, including insomnia, cardiovascular disease, hypertension, obesity, depression, and anxiety disorders. Every person has a different response to overwhelming stress based on his/her genetic predispositions, life history, and current thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.
Many people find themselves causing strain in their personal relationships, at work and with their families when they get angry and act from there. Fortunately anger is a response that we can learn to control and even stop completely if we wish to whilst still staying strong in our interactions with others if need be.
In the first stages of anger management there are many techniques we can begin to employ as we learn to recognising the early warning signs of our anger responses. Relaxing the jaw, shoulders and diaphragm and breathing more deeply and slowly we can slow or begin to reverse our ramp up to anger.
Then we can begin gaining a greater awareness of our thoughts and beliefs and how they are affecting our views and experiences, allowing us to begin to see things in a clearer way so we are not as lost in the rush of anger and the things we say and do in that state.
It also helps us to notice the ways we use anger to try to solve problems and protect ourselves from feeling what may be getting touched at the earliest point of our triggers. This leads to learning skills to become aware of what is beneath the anger and deal with that in a healthier way.
Grief and Loss
We have all experienced grief in our lives as an intense emotional experience. Grief can be experienced when we lose a family member, a relationship, a pet, a job or something we were hoping for, a lifestyle change or a serious illness. The grief that is felt in response to these situations is a normal human response that all of us will know at different times in our lives. Even within life changes that we view as positive, grief can be experienced at certain aspects that can surprise us.
Common descriptions and reactions to loss can be denial, bargaining with the loss, anger, guilt and depression. People have many ways of being in response to grief such as isolating themselves, feelings of need or desperation, anxiety and excessive behaviours.
The relationship we have with grief and the way we process it can make an enormous difference to our lives. Counselling can provide a safe place to talk about your feelings at this time with someone who can understand and be with you through variety of mental and emotional responses. This may help to access a deeper acceptance of the situation. In doing so we are providing the ability to learn how to have a relationship with grief. All areas of our life are touched by grief, over time we expect the grief to get smaller or to even go away, though this may not occur. The intensity of the grief may change and the emotions related to the grief may shift, yet our experiences with grief can continue to shape our lives in ways.
Seeking professional help can be a wise decision.
Anxiety, Fear & Panic
It is important to understand that fear is our main survival mechanism and needs to be recognised as something that is there to protect us. However, fear often becomes a hindrance to us operating comfortably and well. You are not alone and there are techniques that can help you become more at peace in all situations. Fear can be examined and dealt with through the help of a professional counsellor. It is normal to feel anxious from time to time but there is no need to let anxiety and worry hold you back from living a full life.
Counselling can support and assist you to recognise the signs and symptoms of fear or panic, which at times can be unconscious habitual patterns and can assist in discovering how to work with them.
Social anxiety is a common fear of being judged in a negative light by others. It can range in intensity from discomfort through to seeming to be debilitating. Social anxiety can lead to feelings of humiliation, depression and low-self-worth. It can impact us in day to day living, meeting new people, making friends, dealing with authority figures, leading groups and finding new relationships.
There are advantages of overcoming fear – you may find that you feel much less tense, and are able to do things that you feared and feel more effective in your life.
Career transitions and redundancies can be a part of life these days along with employer bankruptcy, injury or disability, toxic work environments and bullying. These situations all mean that your career may take a change or you may even leave the workplace. Don’t get lost in the wilderness of uncertainty in future careers. We can support you in finding what ignites your passion and interests.
In addition to speaking with our professional counsellors to clarify issues, aid in the resolution of conflicts and identify direction opportunities, we use a profiling system call HBDI (Hermann Whole Brain Dominance Indicator). The HBDI uncovers your thinking preferences and helps you to identity what kind of work naturally engages you. This is a wonderful tool to support the develop of insight and understanding about oneself while generates awareness of your communication style, decision-making process and problem solving preferences.
Knowing our preferences, how we engage with our role and work others gives us vital information. As we review our individual, couple or team profiles, this process assists in establishing confidence and re-engages a deep sense of acceptance for who I am. Contact us to help you choose the right path for you.